Da Pan! Da Pan! Da Pan is on FIRE! So keep your eye on it!

I see too often the flame under a pan on a medium, sometimes a medium high heat. As an amateur cook I wasn't too sure why people did this as I was always taught to cook with a very hot pan. As I got older I would ask everybody "How come you don't put the flame on high?" and I always got the same answer, "I don't want the food to burn."
If you want to develop flavor, thicken sauces, sear, roast, or just cook well the flame plays a very big role the success of your dish. You won't be able to brown your meats and potatoes with a medium flame, you can't activate your roux with a medium flame, you can't lock juices in your steak with a medium flame. I get not everybody is a professional cook but you don't need to be! All you need to do is give your food the attention it deserves. Last week I witnessed someone get a pan hot, add their onions and garlic, and then walked away and started having a conversation with someone else. Naturally, when she returned, the onions and garlic were burnt. She looked at me with frustration and said, "Why'd you make me do that?!" Earlier I was explaining to her what a hot pan can do for a dish. She used to cook everything with a low flame and now I see why.
Cooking is like raising a child. You need to watch it and protect it so it doesn't get hurt. You wouldn't put a baby in a room and expect it to grow up to be an adult by itself would you? You need to nurture it, love it and want it to be great!

Go big or go home!

You know what really irks me? Putting a product on your menu just because it's a "rare" or an "exotic" item. That's all fine and dandy but if you're going to serve it, don't cheat the customer by serving a shitty product. 

If you saw a 12oz Kobe Beef Sirloin on the menu and it was only $20 you should be concerned. But this post is not about Kobe Beef, it's not even about how much it was. It's about being true to the ingredients and having some respect for yourself as a chef. 

The other night my girlfriend and I went out to dinner to a place that was known for their game proteins. Kangaroo, alligator, venison, etc. Now, one thing I did expect was the proteins were going to be dry. Most gamey proteins are very lean in general so moisture was not the name of the game. For appetizers she ordered Foire Gras over Heirloom Tomatoes and some type of dressing and I ordered the Grilled Octopus with melon wrapped in some type of cured meat. The only thing I liked about the two dishes was the melon, cantaloupe to be exact. The Foie Gras was seared nicely but the texture was very mushy, almost like an undercooked custard. Foie Gras is given 3 grades - A, B or C. A is the best, it's the fullest, most firm and has no blemishes. And I'm sure you can guess they get worse. I'm guessing they served us a C grade foie because it was so soft. It was served over half a less than 1/4" sliced heirloom tomato. Did I mention it was the bottom of the tomato? Now, you may be thinking "What's wrong with the bottom of the tomato?" Nothing, but if you're trying to offer a fine dining experience w white table cloth and servers with crumbers, you do not serve the bottom or top of tomatoes. Those are for stock.  The dressing tasted like balsamic and oil. 

Now, for the Octopus. I learned through my years of cooking when you cook invertebrates, you either cook it for 90 seconds or 90 minutes. Squid and octopus can become rubber very quickly as I'm sure you've all experienced here and there when ordering calamari. Well, this octopus was definitely grilled and wasn't tough, but wasn't tender. It was grainy, as if it was frozen, defrosted, frozen, defrosted, frozen and defrosted again. Everytime you defrost something it loses moisture and I've had octopus hat was frozen before. What I ate the other night was something else. I attached a picture below to show what I'm talking about. 

This post is not even about me being a pompous fuck who has to have perfect food all the time. It's actually for the people who want to venture into "nicer" foods. If someone wanted to try foie gras for the first time, I would want them to eat the best foie gras there is so they can make their own assessment about the product. It's kind of like someone who wants to try venison for the first time and gets served a well done piece of venison tenderloin from a deer who eats grass from the highway. They're going to think all venison is dry as shit and tastes like shit. 

Cooks, take some pride in your work. We work long hours, we endure constant pain and we get paid shitty. Show everybody why you became a cook and why all this pain is worth it. For me, it's when someone closes their eyes and sighs after taking the first bite of my food.  That's better than a paycheck.

-bien manger 

It's called fast food for a reason

When people discover that I am a chef, I am attacked with a barrage of questions. What's your specialty? Do you really use the food off the ground? What do you like to eat the most? I think everybody has a pre-set answer in their mind of what I'm going say with most of these questions. But the one question I get a lot and people are most surprised with the answer is, "Any girl who dates you must be a lucky girl huh?" Answer: FALSE. Well not in the sense that I'm a bad boyfriend but everybody thinks that dating a chef is best thing in the world. They think we'll cook dinner every night and that our significant other will always eat the best food ever!

Do mechanics want to go home and work on their cars? Do IT techs want to go home and fix computers? Do hairstylists want to go home and cut hair? I can't really speak for them so I'm going to say probably not. The last thing I want to do after I walk in the door is to pick up a pan. Very rarely do I cook for myself. The closest thing I'll cook for myself without having second thoughts is Cup Noodle. I mean I do it all day for 9-10 hours and when you're working with food for so long it's no longer something you yearn to consume but something that you work with. Along with eating it (I don't really eat my own food) you have to either wash it, cut it, cook it, or make sure it tastes good or even all 4. And if you're not in semi-shape it can put a good amount of stress on the body with the lifting, the carrying, the cutting, and the cleaning. But I believe it gives a greater amount of mental stress. Do I have all the ingredients? Do I have enough time to cook? When should I start cooking? I hope it tastes good. Do I have enough food? Does it look right? Questions and thoughts that run through a cook's head everyday. Over the years it can put a strain on one's mind. That's why cooking is amongst the highest suicidal ranked jobs. Honestly though, I don't mind cooking at home. The only thing I do mind is doing dishes. I hate doing dishes. ATTENTION anybody that would like for me to cook for them. No matter the occasion. If I cook I do not do dishes. 

Don't get me wrong I do cook at home sometimes. I mean some of my previous blogs are food I did cook at home. So it's not like I NEVER cook at home. But why waste the time and energy when you can just go to McDonalds or Burger King or my favorite...TACO BELL!! I LOVE TACO BELL. Yes, I love fast food. It's called fast food for a reason. I cook food all day and I get to people as fast as I can and they usually don't wait that long. So why would I want to wait for a "good meal" at a nice restaurant when I can get a "good meal" at taco bell. I love tacos by the way. LOVE LOVE LOVE tacos. Please don't misunderstand I do go to "fancy" restaurants, not often, but I do to experience new foods and to remind myself why I paid 24k to go to culinary school. But it gets expensive after awhile. I definitely NEVER go to chain restaurants. Applebees, Friday's, PF Changs...they all have something in common. MICROWAVE! When I first moved to Maryland in 2006 I got a job at Friday's as a server. I was supposed to train for 12 days but they decided I was good enough to be on my own after 3 days. During the 3 weeks that I was occupied at Friday's, I made probably a total of $350. On saturday nights (the busiest night of the week) I would make about $50-$60 when other servers were walking about with $300. But this blog isn't about me sucking as a server. The vegetables served were frozen and microwaved, the sauces came from a bag and microwaved, and some of the meats were microwaved as well.  Items on the menu were duplicated in other sections to make the menu look bigger and I couldn't take it anymore. Yes I know, fast food joints are considered "chain restaurants" as well but they don't "cook to order" which is fine with me. I'd rather eat a burger that has borderline fake meat in it then real chicken that's been cooked at 3pm and then reheated in a microwaved and served at 9:30pm.

So let's consolidate all this information.  

1. Having a chef as a significant other doesn't mean you can stop watching the food network.
2. I rarely cook for myself.
3. I hate doing dishes.
4. I love Taco Bell.
5. Chain Restaurants suck.
6. I sucked as a server.

 bien manger

-cwis